Recently I took on a contract to host a tv show for teen girls called Beautiful Unique Girl so for the first time since Cohen was born, I’ve been working part time out of the home.
Alex and I knew that I would be a SAHM. It was our choice. I’ve always felt blessed to be there for my kids almost 24/7. I’ve been there for all of their firsts, all of their tears, all of their tantrums. What an overwhelming blessing.
But I have to admit that this job came at the perfect time. As much as I love being at home with my kids all the time, it was starting to drive me a little crazy. (Can I even say that??) I love my kids more than life itself and think they are the most beautiful, brilliant little people on the planet. I love their soft, squishy little selves so much, and yet I started to feel like I was suffocating.
The littlest things were setting me off and even my sweet, gracious husband pointed out that it seemed like I was often at the end of my rope.
It hurt to hear, but it was true.
So hiring a beautiful, creative, Jesus-loving nanny who adores my kids, to watch them a few days a week was the bravest thing I could do.
Yes, the bravest.
It’s hard to admit I can’t do it on my own. And it’s even harder to ask for help.
But it’s also brave.
It’s brave to choose to stay at home with your kids full time – to let go of the fulfillment that comes from using another part of your brain every day, interacting with other adults, and getting away from the diapers, dishes and dirty laundry.
It’s also brave to choose to work outside of the home, either because you need to financially, or emotionally, or because you feel like God is calling you to work on a project that will bring a little more of His light and love into the world your children will one day live in, without you.
It’s brave to spend every waking moment with your children, and it’s brave to place them in the loving hands of their caregiver for a few hours while you do what you need to do.
So let’s not let guilt rob us of that truth, and convince us we are cowards.
Let’s not let comparison steal our joy and tell us we are less than.
Let’s remember His presence is first and foremost. And that what He has shown us and spoken to us in the sun, will carry us through the storm. Let’s remember we don’t answer to other moms, social media, our friends or family but to Jesus alone.
You are brave when you walk towards Him in obedience, even when it’s hard.
You are brave when you admit your need, throw your hands up in the air and hold onto Him for dear life.
Bravery isn’t so much about our ability to do something amazing, but our choice to surrender to God and watch Him do more than we could ever ask or imagine.