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I Was Bullied

It started in grade three when a new girl came to our school. We’ll call her C. C was outgoing, fun, pretty and everyone wanted to be her friend – me most of all. We sat beside each other in class and started walking home from school together.

C and I were a lot alike. We both liked to talk and we both liked being the center of attention. Except when C realized that some of the kids paid more attention to me than her, she started spreading rumors. She lied and told the other kids that I stunk, that I was gross, and that they shouldn’t play with me at recess. And her influence was strong enough that pretty soon I was spending every recess alone.

I remember the spot I’d go to when I had no one to play with at recess…an old garbage can tipped over at the edge of the field. As soon as the recess bell rang I’d walk straight there, plop myself down in the snow with my head resting on the bin and cry.

In class, kids started calling me Heather dweeb (my last name was Wiebe) and boys bugged me about not having developed a chest yet (this was in grade 4 and 5!!!).  One day the teacher was talking about the theory that the world was flat and I pipped up “but the earth isn’t flat!” and one of the cool boys in my class yelled out “but you are!”.  Everyone laughed. It’s silly now, but it stung.

After four years of being bullied, rejected and picked on in Elementary school, I begged my parents to send me to a private Christian school for Jr. High. For some reason I thought that would solve all of my problems. They agreed and I hoped for a new start.

Except it just began all over again, with a new set of kids, some even more harsh than the others had been. The girls I tried to befriend ignored me, gossiped about me and told me I couldn’t sit with them at lunch.  I wondered what was so wrong with me.

Was a really that detestable?

This continued throughout grade 7, bringing me to my lowest point, midway through grade 8. I was at home on a school night and the phone rang.  I picked up and it was one of my friends from church (I had made a few close friends at my youth group that year, my only reprieve from the bullying at school). I was happy to hear her voice and we starting chatting. Suddenly three other voices chimed in and I realized it was a 5-way conference call with my small group from church. But instead of it being a fun conversation between girlfriends, it turned sour fast.

The girls hadn’t called to chat about the sleepover we were planning for the weekend.  They were calling to read me a list.  It was a list they had written together, behind my back.

A list of all of the reasons they hated me and didn’t want me to be in their group anymore. As they read it too me they laughed.

The phone slipped from my hand and crashed to the floor.

My fragile adolescent heart shattered into a million pieces. I’d never been so hurt in my life.  And the saddest thing of all is I believed every horrible word they said.

I believed the lies they spoke were true, and that I was undeserving of loving, caring friends.

Over the next few years I was lovingly mentored by an amazing women from church and through her influence, realized I needed to stop caring so much about what others thought.  Instead of trying so hard to be popular and liked, I needed to go to God for the love and acceptance.  I took her words to heart.

I fell in love with Jesus and He transformed me.  He took an insecure, striving teenaged girl and turned her into a confident young women.

But not confident in myself and my own abilities.  Confident in who HE HAD MADE ME TO BE.  Confident in the one who died for me and now lived inside of me.

Christ-Confident.

Galatians 1:10 says, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”

linking with Ashely and Heather

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15 thoughts on “I Was Bullied

  1. My heart breaks for you as I read this. There are so many people out there who go through this. I applaud your vulnerability and authenticity in sharing your story & owning it to do something good & beautiful. It’s crazy how you still carry the scars of those actions & I’m certain those girls will never think of you again. {{HUGS}}

  2. I am sorry you had to go through all of that. But thank goodness for the kindness of the mentor who taught you that you needed to seek approval from Jesus.

  3. I am SO happy to see how you grew from it, despite it being such a terrible experience. I wasn’t bullied that often, but I had my share of struggles in school like this and I can only imagine how hard it was on you.

    You are so beautiful inside and out now that it’s hard to see something so hurtful happening to you, but it just goes to show how much you have changed from it.

    Thank you so much for sharing and participating in this week!

  4. Heather, I, too, applaud your honesty and willingness to become vulnerable to share your story. It may be the very words that someone who is going through the very same thing needs to get out of their “pit” of lonliness and despair. As one of your former teachers, I aplogize and ask for your forgivness for not seeing what you were going through and for not being there to help you through a very difficult time as a caring teacher should. I am thankful that you were able to rise above and use your experience to become who God meant for you to be.

  5. Hi Heather,

    I can relate to your story because it was almost, except for a few small details, the same as mine! I totally agree that Jesus is the one to turn to and live for. This is a powerful testimony and you told it well. Remember that the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of Prophecy. You are likely helping your readers overcome their insecurities with your story of how Jesus set you free from them.

    I Bless you Heather!!!

    Shalom,
    Beverly

  6. Your story is truly heartbreaking as this goes on FAR TO OFTEN. It amazes me how cruel kids can be and how many kids actually decide to end their life over the cruelty of words. I have 2 kids in school and I worry all of the time that they could be bullied or be the bully. We talk about this a lot together and I hope that through their Christ confidence that they will be the kids that I hope they will be. You really are so beautiful and I have noticed that the kids that you see on tv that have chosen to end their life are so extremely beautiful that it really proves that the bullying is caused by pure jealousy and lack of confidence in the bullies. I’m sorry that you had to go through that and thank you for sharing your story.

  7. This is my first visit to your blog {I stopped by from the Finding Beauty linky} and I am so impressed by your transparency and honesty. Thank you for sharing your story in such a public way.

  8. My heart breaks for what you lived through. I know you will continue to impact lives because you can write from experience and feelings they are going through now. You are a positive role model to many. Your honesty is refreshing. I wish I could give you a huge hug.

  9. What a horrible thing to go through as a young person. I was bullied as well but I’ll never understand how people can make someone feel like they’re worth nothing and still feel good about themselves. Your story is very inspiring, thank you so much for sharing.

    (I came here from Ashley’s secret week link up)

  10. Your story brings tears rushing to my eyes. I was bullied from 4th through 8th grade by an entire class all those years (save 1 or 2 kids). The scenarios are different, but are no less hurtful. I spent (wasted) so many years wondering what on earth was wrong with me. It spent years wondering if these people even knew the damage they inflicted. Wondering if they realized that even as a grown adult, their words still stung. At 39, I am past the point of being consumed by it, but it just breaks my heart hearing other people’s stories. People can be so cruel, but God is so incredibly amazing. I only wished I’d seen Him through it back then.

  11. Oh Heather, I can relate so much to this. I was bullied all through school. It was so hurtful and such a low point- this went on from 5th grade through high school over this silliest things. I didn’t live in the nicest house, and my parents had an older car. So I was forever known as a name that is so inappropriate for any child to have to be called. I wasn’t walking with the Lord during these times, no one had really taken the time out to show me how much He loves me. This was a beautiful post! xo

  12. I will never cease to be amazed at the incredible cruelty that kids come up with. the continuing saga of rejection that you experienced even moving to a different school further cements my belief that a spirit of rejection attaches itself to people and sticks with them until they are able to recognize it and stop believing the enemy’s lies. my husband and I discerned last year that we had been living under a spirit of rejection that had been passed down to us from our families via multiple generations (we saw major effects in the family members’ lives). we are choosing truth and basing our identity in HIM.

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