I went and saw The Fault in our Stars by myself on Monday evening. I don’t usually see movies solo, but I knew it’d be better to be a weepy mess, alone with my Kleenex box, than have to hide my tear-wiping and nose-blowing from someone.
And sure enough, I cried. Not just one glistening tear rolling down my cheek, but a full on down pour from my eyes and nose. Lovely, I know. I had a feeling it was coming because I read the book and knew the ending of the story, but I had no idea how deeply it would affect me.
It reminded me how short this life is. It reminded me that eternity matters. It reminded me to embrace the moment, but also to keep my eyes fixed, not on what is seen, but what is unseen.
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:18
As a believer I say that I’m living for eternity, yet I’ve become SO comfortable here on earth. When I think of someone I love dying before they are old and grey, it makes my heart physically ache. But maybe that’s not just a heart that’s comfortable on earth, maybe it’s a heart like my Father’s heart. The Father doesn’t want His children to die – He created us for life and life abundantly, on earth as it is in heaven.
“The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
2 Peter 3:9
But we can’t avoid it, can we? We can’t avoid pain, suffering, trials, even death. Especially not death.
I left the movie with a heavy heart. I left thinking about death. I left hating cancer more than I ever have. But mostly I left feeling afraid. And as I drove home, my back to the sun, my tears fell like the rain on my windows. Driving over the bridge, I glanced to my left and then I saw it – the most incredible sunset I’ve ever seen. A sky on fire, purple, pink, orange and yellow in every direction.
Pulling over onto a side street nearby I walked down to the river and gasped at the alarming beauty. To the west the sun burned bright, reminding me of His unending love, and over my should a rainbow arched its back, all pink and purple, reminding me of His perfect promises.
“Heather, I really do love you.”
The fear that had been hovering, heavy on my heaving chest – lifted, driven out by His love.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.”
1 John 4:18
Whatever you’re in the middle of right now, whatever fear has been following you around, whatever worries have been piling up – brick upon brick upon brick – here this today. He really does love you. You are covered in His love and that love is bigger than any fear you face.