Have you ever waited for a word from God and heard absolutely nothing? I’ve experienced this many times, more than I can count. Times when I’ve cried out in desperation, fear, anger and deep sadness, and been met with silence.
When my heart was broken for the first time.
When my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer.
When Alex and I were hurt by a trusted friend and mentor, far away from home.
When our marriage struggled in a way I never imagined possible.
I can look back on each of these times in my life and remember a moment (or several moments) when I laid on the floor sobbing from the deepest part of my soul, when I felt hopeless. Times when I called out to God and begged Him to speak. “God, please help me. Please rescue me. Tell me what to do. Tell me why this happened.”
In many of those moments I heard absolutely nothing.
Have you been there? Are you there right now?
Perhaps God won’t give you the answers your looking for, even when your soul cries out in desperation. But something He gave me and can give you, even in the darkest moments, is His peace. When the Bible says that God’s peace passes understanding, it doesn’t lie. Even when our circumstances seem unbearable, hopeless, and our hearts’ hurt in unspeakable ways – God’s peace is often His answer. I think God chooses not to lead with words, but rather to lead with peace, because He knows we’re not ready to hear the words.
His peace is a balm that soothes our raw brokenness. Where words might cut deeper, peace allows healing. Where the truth might sound cliched or insensitive, God’s peace gives us permission to feel the pain and His presence. In His grace and mercy, sometimes God answers our desperate cries with peace.
Have you ever been overwhelmed with pain and peace at the same time?